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What's going on?!

Three couples I know and really like, all committed homeschoolers with great kids, are in the middle of breaking up. It's taking a pretty big chunk out of me and I'm surprised... I guess because I'm apprehensive due to what happened to me, and I'd hate to see anything like that happen with them (if anyone out there wants the condensed Readers-Digest version of my story, let me know and I'll post it).

It's a normal, natural thing, to move apart when the relationship has dissolved. I never thought of my marriage as "failed" but rather as "ended." And still, I'm feeling grief and loss over the ending of these three marriages.

I don't know why this has hit me so hard. I'm feeling pretty emotional about some other things, too. Some parents I know think it's OK to let their kids (in this case, the kids are under 12, in some cases WAY under 12) play a horror game that I believe is much too disturbing, possibly even for some adults, much less children. And I am feeling really judgy and angry at them for blithely tossing away their kids' innocence. They'll have decades to do crazy, scary stuff... why rush it? And especially when they are in their formative, vulnerable years? But it's not my job to police what other parents do... and I'd be extremely defensive if anyone came at me about one of MY parenting decisions like this. But but but! Studies show secondary trauma is just as damaging as if it happens in person to kids! Kids can't create those boundaries themselves! It's part of a kid's nature to blur the lines between pretend and reality! WHY does it matter so much to me that these parents are making a different choice than I am?

I don't know. And I think the grief over my friends' break-ups and my grief over my friends' kids' nightmares are somehow related. If everybody would just LISTEN TO ME, everything would be OK! (/delusion)

Bah. So. How are YOU doing? Tell me something good that's going on in your life. I will do my best to curb my judgypants and celebrate your happy things with you!

Privilege and guilt and shame

Musing about opportunities...Collapse )

Why is it so hard to think about money rationally? Argh!

Get a move on

Back here to save your f-list.Collapse )

Up early tomorrow morning, so time for bed. I LOVE reading your posts, and I will try to post again soon!

Quick update

Good lord, I just saw how long it had been since I posted here! Yeesh... fie upon you, Facebook. A quick rundown of what"s been transpiring at Chez Wildebeest.Collapse )

I'm wondering whether anyone else is still reading LJ, and if any of this is news to you... are you all already connecting with me on FB? In any case, I hope you and yours are having a wonderful 2014 so far... stay warm and be excellent to each other!

2014, full speed ahead!

Hello, LJ! It's been a while... how about a nice New Year's list?

Meme swiped from tarrestrial...Collapse )

Road trip update

My dad called tonight. His procedure has been moved up to April 24 (It WAS going to be mid-May sometime).

I'm thinking I'm going to fly out instead of drive, and rent a car for a month so I can go visit Julia and my in-laws after staying with my dad.

I'm trying to stay positive about this, but I'm worried... first the doctors seemed pretty blasé about this thing, and now they're suddenly saying he needs it done faster.

This means I won't be seeing all you lovely Kansas City folks, at least not as soon as I want to. But I will be at Whole Earth Festival, and this way I will have more time to wander around the coast and in Washington.

If all goes well.

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Ear update and some news

Since the last visit with the old ENT back in February, I found that the medication he had prescribed actually promoted fungal growth,, and that the management of otomycosis requires frequent, if not daily, debridement for healing (he was cleaning once every two or three weeks, and forbidding me to do so between visits). So I had been treating it myself, cleaning with alcohol and using a mixture of tea tree oil suspended in olive oil (melaleuca is both antibacterial and antifungal). About two weeks ago, I had a recurrence of the bacterial infection in the middle ear, and used the ofloxacin to calm it down (while keeping the eardrum area scrupulously clean and dry to avoid another fungal infection). The fullness and ear noise and dizzyness and deafness and discharge were all still present to some extent, but generally improving.

Last week, when I saw a new ENT, they used a nifty fiber optic camera to check all the holes in my head (an fascinating process!). And while there was still some evidence of Not Rightness, it was clear that the perforations had healed! He even had me do the Valsalva maneuver (where you blow into your ears while holding your nose to "pop" them), and you could see the ear drum moving in and out with the pressure, and NOT leaking! The hearing in that ear is only about 30% of the other one, but I know that's much better than it was, and he gave every indication that I could expect a full recovery back to normal hearing in time.

I'm still in shock. It's been six months since this odyssey began. After almost a week, I'm feeling even better and decided it must be true, and so I'm sharing it now with you LJers, who have been on this ride with me from the beginning. Thank you all for your kind words of support and encouragement!

My other big news is that I'm definitely heading out for a road trip in the next few weeks... I'm hoping to hit Kansas City, Denver/Boulder, Davis, Penngrove/Petaluma, Portland, Seattle, Spokane, and Yellowstone. My dates aren't set in stone yet, but I do hope to be in Davis for the Whole Earth Festival (over Mother's Day weekend). Other than that, we're flexible. Want to connect? Willing to host a wandering mama and her kiddo? Want to take us for a hike to show us your favorite view? Leave a comment and we will MAKE IT HAPPEN! Woohooooo!

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