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Godspeed, Dad

My father passed away on Dec. 22, 2015.

Here's his online memorial site.

It's been a pretty rough month. I really should write about it but I'm not ready to. Still, I wanted to let people know this site was up.

Thank you all for your kind support and encouragement these last few weeks. It has helped so much to know I'm not alone.


Concerning Eeyore and Rocinante

So you remember Eeyore, the depressed donkey that was always gloomy and morose in the Winnie the Pooh books? I've been ruminating upon him lately, because I bet the poor old bastard had arthritis. Ponderings continue under the cut.Collapse )

I have no answers, just oodles of questions, but I'd love to hear your thoughts.


Still here...

I've seen a few old LJ friends popping up again on my feed, and they've inspired me to finally update my own LJ. Big ol" post behind the cut.Collapse )

In general, I've found a lot of things to keep me busy and happy while I'm in Chicago. But while I've found a lot to love about the Midwest and this city, it's not home and it never will be. I know I need to go back to the West Coast, and I trust that the universe will eventually align in such a way so that it will happen. Until then, I do what I can for myself, my family, and my community, and do my best to stay positive and hopeful.

What's going on?!

Three couples I know and really like, all committed homeschoolers with great kids, are in the middle of breaking up. It's taking a pretty big chunk out of me and I'm surprised... I guess because I'm apprehensive due to what happened to me, and I'd hate to see anything like that happen with them (if anyone out there wants the condensed Readers-Digest version of my story, let me know and I'll post it).

It's a normal, natural thing, to move apart when the relationship has dissolved. I never thought of my marriage as "failed" but rather as "ended." And still, I'm feeling grief and loss over the ending of these three marriages.

I don't know why this has hit me so hard. I'm feeling pretty emotional about some other things, too. Some parents I know think it's OK to let their kids (in this case, the kids are under 12, in some cases WAY under 12) play a horror game that I believe is much too disturbing, possibly even for some adults, much less children. And I am feeling really judgy and angry at them for blithely tossing away their kids' innocence. They'll have decades to do crazy, scary stuff... why rush it? And especially when they are in their formative, vulnerable years? But it's not my job to police what other parents do... and I'd be extremely defensive if anyone came at me about one of MY parenting decisions like this. But but but! Studies show secondary trauma is just as damaging as if it happens in person to kids! Kids can't create those boundaries themselves! It's part of a kid's nature to blur the lines between pretend and reality! WHY does it matter so much to me that these parents are making a different choice than I am?

I don't know. And I think the grief over my friends' break-ups and my grief over my friends' kids' nightmares are somehow related. If everybody would just LISTEN TO ME, everything would be OK! (/delusion)

Bah. So. How are YOU doing? Tell me something good that's going on in your life. I will do my best to curb my judgypants and celebrate your happy things with you!

Privilege and guilt and shame

Musing about opportunities...Collapse )

Why is it so hard to think about money rationally? Argh!

Get a move on

Back here to save your f-list.Collapse )

Up early tomorrow morning, so time for bed. I LOVE reading your posts, and I will try to post again soon!

Quick update

Good lord, I just saw how long it had been since I posted here! Yeesh... fie upon you, Facebook. A quick rundown of what"s been transpiring at Chez Wildebeest.Collapse )

I'm wondering whether anyone else is still reading LJ, and if any of this is news to you... are you all already connecting with me on FB? In any case, I hope you and yours are having a wonderful 2014 so far... stay warm and be excellent to each other!

2014, full speed ahead!

Hello, LJ! It's been a while... how about a nice New Year's list?

Meme swiped from tarrestrial...Collapse )

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